Never Ask A Southern Grandma A Question
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher."
"Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and Asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
Continue reading Comments (0) Jul 20, 2007
Men and Women [A most complex Equation]
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
SHOPPING MATH
- A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
HAPPINESS
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
- To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
- Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Continue reading Comments (0) Jul 19, 2007
I bought it on eBay
Isn't eBay the greatest? You can find anything on that site, I mean anything! One guy even got busted for trying to sell human body parts on there.
And "Weird Al", he's the man, he appreciates this innovation of the web just as much as me. Check out this song of his, its so witty. 
Continue reading Comments (0) May 16, 2007
